Shallow Breath
by Jennifer Ellis
Summary: At seventeen, the 'right thing to do' is often unclear. At seventeen, emotions are confusing and can play tricks on your mind. The girl you feel you love remains uninterested and the boy you know you don't is suddenly the cause of jealousy. What is the 'right thing to do? Sometimes it's easier to breathe shallowly than to breathe deep.


**SHALLOW BREATH**

**A/N: Warning-contains mild swearing with one strong use. Must apologise for any typos. It's what you get when you have to use OpenOffice and the spellcheck is broken. Give me Word any day!**

_Desire, when it comes on too forcefully, __never bestows  
__excellence, __never makes anyone prestigious.  
__When she comes with just the right touch, there's no goddess  
__more gracious __than Cypris.  
__Mistress, never release from your golden bow  
__an inescapeable arrow, smeared with desire  
__and aimed at my heart._

**_Medea; Euripides; Lines 651-657_**

Though the air was rich with heat, the windows to the boys dormitories remained firmly shut trapping the stuffy air within the stone walls. The heady sunlight declared the afternoon to belong in late May and it burned through the glass of the window, filling the room with a dusty, golden colour unusual to th bleak springs of Scotland that the inhabitants were used to and it appeared as if the very walls of the castle were glowing with it, setting the aging furniture in the colour of burnt orange. The sun spread its heat and light throughout the room, spilling it through the chinks in the heavy scarlet hangings drawn around a single four-poster bed, creating dust-motes that floated in a river of pure gold.

The heat was heavy and it pressed down on the two occupants hidden away behind the hangings in a way that was far from comfortable however neither of them were inclined to care. For James Potter, the heat was simply an excuse to remove the clothing of both himself and his companion leaving them both in their undergarments.

Eagerly, his mouth quested along her jaw bone kissing every inch of skin he could reach. The girl sighed in pleasure and threw her head back into a pool of light that set off an array of fiery colours in her dark hair and allowing him to kiss down her neck.

Pressing himself further against her James's lips found hers and he kissed her hungrily, pulling at her like the sea tugs relentlessly at the shore.

"You kiss very well," she told him, slightly breathless, as he drew back for breath.

James smiled against her lips. His breath had long become shallow and fast. She wasn't such a bad kisser herself, he decided. He enjoyed the feeling of the heat from her lips burning against his. They tasted faintly of strawberry lip-balm with a stronger, sharper taste of firewhisky drunk straight from the bottle. He kissed her deeply and insistently. She responded well, tangling her hands in his hair and wrapping her thin arms around his bare shoulders. James wrapped a deft hand around her torso, pulling her nearer until they're half-clothed bodies were pressed against each other.

In the haze of desire, heat and liquor he scarcely heard the definite sound of the door banging open though the girl bristled in his arms.

"Oi, Prongs. You here?" It was Sirius's voice, laid back and casual as always. James could

see him in his minds eye leaning carelessly on the door frame and surveying the room with a lazy eye.

James took it upon himself to ignore him. He wasn't going to let Sirius ruin an afternoon of perfectly good entertainment. The arm around the girl's torso grew firmer and he kissed her with even more fervor than he had previously.

There was a brief silence before once more Sirius's voice cut through the heated aura. "I know you're there, Prongs. I can hear your breathing."

James did not reply, hoping that he would just give up and leave but Sirius wasn't one for such courtesies and after the sounds of encroaching footsteps the curtains were torn apart.

James pulled away from the girl and hurriedly disentangled his legs from hers. "Padfoot! For Merlin's sake! What the hell is wrong with you?"

If Sirius was surprised he didn't show it. In fact, his facial expression remained almost neutral apart though he sent a wink at the girl who was fairing rather well to the intrusion and had barely moved an inch. In fact, a sideways glance from James showed her to be leaning back on her arms and looking Sirius up and down with an admiring eye. His stomach scrunched up even tighter in irritation.

"Do you even understand the concept of privacy?"

"Apparently not." Sirius replied, he casually sunk down onto the mattress.

James wrapped a possessive arm around the girl's torso and pulled her onto his lap. She didn't resist. "Is there a particular reason you disturbed me?"

Sirius pretended to think. "There was...but I've forgotten." The cheeky smile he wore said differently.

"Shame." The girl smiled across at him. "I'm Vanessa, by the way. Vanessa Allwood. Ravenclaw." She leant across the space between them to proffer him her hand seemingly unembarrassed by her garments or lack thereof.

Sirius shook it. "Sirius Black." He grinned at her.

"Okay, enough." Pulling their hands apart James scowled at Sirius. "If you want to flirt get your own."

Sirius pretended to be offended. "So, telling someone my name is now flirting."

"It is when you combine it with puppy-dog eyes." James told him pointedly.

Sirius shrugged. "Fair enough," his mouth said though his eyes were on Vanessa who's were glinting on him in return.

James gave up with a sigh. "Stop messing around, Padfoot. What do you want?"

His friend shrugged and leant back against James's bedpost. "A chat...maybe a threesome," he winked.

James threw a punch at his arm but Sirius saw it coming and jerked away. "Okay, okay. Maybe not. But a cup of tea wouldn't go amiss."

Vanessa slid off of Jame's knee and set her bare feet on the floor. "I'll make it." Grabbing a scarlet hoody of James's the badge of which proclaimed that it belonged to the 'Gryffindor Quidditch Team' out of his open trunk and pulled it over her bare arms and shoulders.

"Cheers." Sirius threw in her direction. "Couldn't open the window, could you? It's stuffy in here."

Vanessa allowed herself a frown. "Just because I'm making tea it doesn't make your servant."

Sirius shrugged. "My mistake. Would you, Prongs?"

James raised his eyebrows. "I'm in my boxers," he replied pointedly.

A glint arrived in his eye. "Dare you," he grinned.

James met his eye squarely. "No. I'm not that stupid. This is the first bit of sun we've had this year. Everyone will be outside."

A shrug. "Well, if you're too...chicken."

Vanessa's giggling drew James's eye and he was impressed to see that she'd transfigured a brass wash basin into a kettle and was now pointing her wand at the kettle and bringing it to a fast boil. She caught his eye and raised her eyebrow. "Dare you."

"No." He told her firmly. "I am seventeen, not seven. I'm not showing the whole of the school my underwear because he calls me chicken."

Sirius leaned forward. "Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"Really?" Vanessa asked with a wink.

"Really."

"Oh, yeah?"

James could feel his temper wearing thin. "Piss off, Sirius. Go spoil someone else's afternoon."

"Nah, this is too much fun." James could tell that Sirius was only being this annoying to show off in front of Vanessa.

With a huff James flew to his feet, crossed the room in two strides and threw the window open regardless if anyone might see him or not.

Sirius grinned. "Wasn't so hard now, was it? Thanks, mate." He stretched out on James's bed shutting his eyes and enjoying the cool breeze that cut through the heavy heat.

James kicked him, half-heartedly. "You are a twat you know."

"I know." Sirius deadpanned. "But you wuv me weally."

James would have thrown an even worse insult at him had Vanessa not declared that the tea was ready and come over to them with two steaming mugs clasped in her hands.

"Aw, cheers, Vanessa." Sirius sat up and took it eagerly.

James nodded his thanks as she handed him his. Noting her now empty hands, he asked: "Aren't you having one?"

Vanessa shook her head and her thick hair bouncing with the gesture and grabbed the half-empty firewhisky with a wink and sat herself down in the clothe-strewn chair beside James's bed. The zip of the hoody had been left undone and it didn't escape the boys attention that one side had fallen to one side to show her bra-covered chest. Knowing Vanessa, James doubted it was unintentional. Though it left James with nowhere else to look. Sirius, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind.

"So, Vanessa. How did you become acquainted with our lovely Mr. Potter?"

Vanessa inclined her head to one side. "In the library. He was doing his homework and I asked him if he wanted to go and have sex," she replied in a voice impossibly neutral for the subject.

"What?!" Sirius's mouth dropped open and he turned to James with shock on his face. James nodded smugly and grinned. Sirius's shook his head in disbelief. "You were doing your homework?!"

The smile faltered. "Oh come on, Padfoot. I'm not a complete idiot. I do want to pass my NEWTS."

Sirius shook his head again. "Unbelievable," he muttered. "Unbe-bloody-lievable."

Vanessa nodded. "I thought it rather odd."

"Aw, come one! What is this? Gang-up-on-James Day?" James whined.

Sirius thought for a moment. "Nope. But it should be. Good idea, Prongs," he sent a grin at James.

Despite himself James allowed a smile. "Ha ha. Very funny."

"I thought so." Sirius shifted his seat and moved his hands behind his head. "You know, the only thing I'm surprised about is that you said 'yes' to Vanessa."

James brow knit. "Why?"

Sirius adopted a teasing grin before continuing. "Well, what about Lily? This morning you told her, with no uncertainty, that you wanted to stick your-"

"Yes, I get it, Padfoot. Thanks." James hastily cut him off.

Sirius immediately had Vanessa's whole attention. "So, do I have a rival?" She didn't seem upset by this but more interested.

James had a bad feeling about this. "No. You don't. Sirius is just kidding around."

Sirius snorted. "Come on, Prongs. You spend half your life 'impressing' her."

Vanessa sat back, looking thoughtful. "I see." Getting to her feet she strode over to James pulling her clothes from his bed.

"Vanessa..." James grabbed her around the waist anticipating a struggle but was pleasantly surprised when her lips landed on his. She kissed him deeply and insistently before pulling away just as suddenly. "Until next time."

James just blinked, stupidly. "You're going?"

Vanessa just smiled. "Good-bye, Black." She thrust her legs into dark denim jeans and pulled them over her bare legs, zipping up James's hoody. "Mind if I borrow this?" James just shrugged. "Think of it as insurance." With a wink Vanessa exited leaving a thick silence in the dorm.

"I like her," Sirius intoned into the silence. "She's fun."

"She's mine," James reminded him.

Sirius shrugged. "She's not your official girlfriend, is she?"

James just sighed and fell back onto his bed. "She's mine," he reinforced quietly.

Sirius shrugged once more and looked up at the canopy of James's bed vaguely. His lips twisted into a grin. "Oh, I've remembered what I came to tell you."

James twisted his head around to look at him. "What?"

Sirius smiled in what could only be described as an evil manner. "You're late for Quidditch practice."

James went still. "I fucking hate you, Sirius." And Sirius's roars of laughter echoed in his ears as he raced, at top speed, across the dorm to find his Quidditch gear.

Lily's forehead was damp from the heat of the common room and she raked a frustrated hand through her hair as she wrote, yet another paragraph, about the Witch Burnings of 1491. With utter wistfulness she found her eyes had wondered to the window and the mass of black-clad students adorning the lawn. She could see the Quidditch players flitting around the pitch, wind in their hair, and not for the first time wondered why she had never taken up sport as a hobby. Merlin, she needed a distraction right now.

The noise of a door banging drew her eyes to the boys dormitories where her eyes alighted on a girl she knew vaguely by sight but not by name. However, it was obvious she was not a Gryffindor.

Glad of an excuse to abandon her work she called upon her duty as a prefect instead. "Excuse me. I do believe you're not supposed to be here." She wasn't rude but told her in the most polite manner.

The girl turned cold eyes on her. "Is that so," she replied indifferently.

Lily stood her ground. "If you're not a Gryffindor then you shouldn't be in here and need to leave."

The girl snorted. "You're lucky. I'm going anyway." Turning her back on Lily she walked to the portrait hole.

Lily watched her with a sever stare she's began to adopt whenever she did her prefect duties. It made her a more authoritative figure, she had decided.

And then the girl checked. "Do you know a 'Lily'?" She asked.

Lily's brow knit. "My name's Lily. Evans."

Something shifted in the other girls expression. "Oh! Wow! You? Haha!" Much to Lily's confusion she burst into laughter. "What rival?" She snorted. "My name's Vanessa. Allwood." She mimicked Lily and her laughter grew even more hysteric.

Lily didn't know quite what she was talking about but she didn't like the feeling that she was being mocked. "I think you'd better leave."

"Yeah, yeah. See you around, 'Lily'." She snorted and disappeared through the portrait hole.

Lily shook her head in disbelief and resentfully returned to her homework.

It was only when James Potter emerged from the boys dorms several minutes later in his Quidditch Training kit that she realised his jumper was missing and in a wave of insight she realised it had been adorning the shoulders of the girl from earlier.

Lily was surprised by quite how much resent she felt about that and when James Potter rushed past her, for the first time she could remember, he had barely acknowledged her.

Lily slammed her book shut and laid her head in her hands. It was the heat talking, she told herself. Just the heat talking...wasn't it?

**A/N: I like reviews...just saying :)**


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